My Mission - Break the Bias!
Updated: Oct 24
When I announced I was expecting twins, I imagined lots of excited congratulations. And I did get some. But I also heard things like 'Oh gosh, that'll be hard work', 'Double trouble!' and my personal favourite: 'Rather you than me.'
I know people don't always mean any harm. But when you've just shared wonderful news, it's a strange feeling to have people respond as if you've announced a disaster. That's why I'm on a mission to change the way we talk about twins and multiples.
The problem with 'double trouble'
Raising twins comes with practical challenges, of course. Some days are exhausting, some are hilarious and most are a mixture of the two. But every parent has difficult days. That doesn't make having twins a negative thing, and it certainly isn't how I'd want my children to see themselves.
Words have a way of sticking. If children grow up hearing that they're trouble, a handful, or always being compared with one another, it's worth asking what message that sends. I'd rather they heard how lucky we feel to have them and how much we value each child individually.
It isn't just my generation hearing these comments
I once had lunch with a group of incredible women, and we got talking about why I'd started writing children's books for twins. Another twin mum told me her twins were already in their forties — and that she had been hearing the same negative comments all those years ago. That conversation stayed with me. Changing the narrative really does take all of us.
Five ways we can change the language around twins
1. Challenge 'double trouble' with 'double cuddles'
You don't need a lecture ready. A smile and 'We prefer double cuddles!' can be enough. I love the idea of giving people a better phrase to remember for next time.
2. Celebrate twin parents instead of predicting disaster
When someone announces a twin pregnancy, start with congratulations. Ask how they're feeling, what they're excited about and whether they need anything. Encourage them instead of making predictions about sleepless nights.
3. Remember twins are two different people
It's natural to notice their connection, but let's stop assuming they have the same interests or personalities. Use their names. Ask what each child enjoys. Celebrate their individuality as enthusiastically as their relationship.
4. Share the lovely moments without pretending everything is perfect
I'm not asking anyone to hide the hard days. Twin parents deserve real support and honest conversations. But we can share the laughter, the milestones and those ordinary moments of connection too. Raising twins is much richer than one tired cliché.
5. Speak up kindly
If someone says something unhelpful, you can challenge it without turning it into an argument: 'Actually, we're really excited', or 'We try to talk about twins positively.' Every little change helps.
Why this matters to Books for Twins
This mission is part of why I became an author. I wanted stories written for two children from the start — stories where both twins feel loved, included and seen. I wanted them to grow up hearing positive words about who they are, together and individually.
Join me in breaking the bias
If you're a twin parent, share the little moments that make you smile. If you're a friend or relative, celebrate the news and offer support. And if you hear 'double trouble', perhaps suggest 'double cuddles' instead. The conversation around twins can be kinder, and that starts with us.
Kelly x
That mission is exactly why Books for Twins exists. Read the story behind the books or see the children’s books created especially for twins.
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